Last year at Lure

This year, I celebrated a big birthday. And while I’ve never cared much about getting older (I mean, I still drink straight out of the tequila bottle and dance on banquettes – not necessarily acting “my age” anyway) the weeks leading up to 35 were, well, um, shaky.

While visiting NYC at the end of April, I had planned a big blowout bash at the rooftop of a midtown hotel and sent out the requisite Facebook evite. It was all arranged and I was excited to come back home to celebrate. But as always, work got busy and I wasn’t able to make it back for my milestone occasion.

At first, I was completely ok with it. I would just have a low-key dinner and drinks thing in Vegas and then do another night out in NYC next time I visited. I have never been all that concerned with my yearly anniversary, and have never felt like I was getting “older”.

But then I realized that for the first time ever, I would be ringing in another year without my closest friends. And I flipped out. The year before was spent at Lure Fishbar in Soho with a few of my best friends followed by more insanity with my BFF Joyce at Greenhouse where another friend, Meredith, was also celebrating her birthday.

This year would be different.

For a few days, I was anxious and upset and panicking about spending the day “alone.”

So I booked a trip to LA and headed out-of-town with my beau-of-the-moment, a few days before my actual birthday. It was fun and I got to spend time with all of my beloved Left Coast friends, but when I got back to Vegas with twelve hours to spare before I was officially in my mid-30’s, I once again went into full-fledged freak out mode.

This lasted a few days and was very predictable – what was I doing with my life? Why was I partying so much? Why didn’t I have more money saved? Basic stuff, really.

After a few days of self-pity, I snapped out of it. I realized that turning 35 didn’t have to be taboo – and it wasn’t. Sure, I am another year older, but I also have another year of amazing experiences to show for it. A year after a pretty annoying divorce, I took the biggest risk of my life and moved to Vegas – VEGAS! – where I barely knew anyone and took a job doing something I had little experience doing. And to be honest, it’s basically turned out ok – but more on that later…

Of course, after all that worrying and anxiety, I ended up having an amazing night at 1 OAK (Sin City edition, natch) with some of my favorite new Vegas friends.

And I realized – getting older is only scary if life doesn’t keep moving and you don’t keep growing. Now that I understand that I am ok – and excited to see what the universe has in store next.